1. Find a damn room. Guess what, at 9 am, no one wants to see you straddling your man against the subway door, or observe the way you casually grab your bitch's ass underneath her sundress. It's all very crass and usually disgusting--I'm talking to you hairy, fat man wearing your college t-shirt you've quite obviously outgrown and bleach blonde dick attachment. Holding hands is fine, everyone loves a good handhold. But keep this in mine next time the urge to take it a step further creeps into your mind: would you do that in front of your grandmother? If you even have to think about it, choose against it. You'll be doing us all a favor.
2. Stop being a tease and go through with the show. If you just can't help but keep your hands off your partner, just to show the world just how freaking in love with them you are, then stop being a little pussy and rip off the clothes. That's right, in the middle of the sidewalk, on the 6 train, in church--let's not be coy. Obviously you want to get down anyway, and you don't mind people looking on in horror, so let's get some dick in vagina action (especially since gays rarely show PDA, though I'd gladly pay to see two bull dykes go at it in the LES). You're the ones who put that big toe over the line, so there's no going back now. I'll get the camera.
2 comments:
i just peed a little..
I hope you saved me some.
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