Wow, 2005

Well, it's 2005, the future. Where we can walk around with the world in our pockets and pussy at our fingertips. So it's time to start swirling that finger around and cause the great white flow of knowledge to unexpectedly burst onto the lips and eyelashes of the general public. And I, kids, am that finger.

I started this "blog," as the kids are calling it these days, basically to distract me during work and my copious amounts of free time. Okay, yes I am just jumping on the bandwagon. But, future followers and fanatics, let me assure you, once on said wagon, I'll make sure to shank and rob every single man, woman and tranny I can get my well-manicured, puss-tinged fingers on. And that's a promise.

Now that I've got the formalities out of the way, let's talk something important. Me. I just recently turned 20 and this gave me the insight and proper distance to look at my life and say, 'Hmm, this kind of sucks.' I should be in school, according to conventional wisdom, but I'm taking a year off to "find myself." Meaning I can't afford to attend NYU anymore. Huh.

I'm also a gay, and that also is not going too well...20-year old virgin. 'Nuff said. Furthermore, I'm an office assistant, aspiring entertainment legend and occasional Debbie Reynolds back-up dancer. yes, one of those is a lie, but I DEFY you to choose which one. And finally, I smoke marijuana, which is an unhealthily large part of my life, but hell, I'm a 20-year old virgin living in Brooklyn, what else is there for me to do? What's that? Jack off you say? Well, friend, I already have that more than covered.

Seeing that I have the attention span of a gnat and my daily intake of news consists almost entirely of celebrity gossip, I think I have the proper credentials to comment on the world and society as I see it, a glitter-drenched orgy of lights and leg-warmers. So, follow me, won't you, into Xanadu, where all your dreams come true. And by your dreams, I mean my sexual fantasies. Hooray for cock!