I Really Do Heart Sweatshop Labor!

While sauntering down the streets, chapeau in hand, of New York the other day, I glanced downwards. Instead of seeing the usual dog shit, dime bag, or homeless person, however, I see scribbled on the sidewalk, a sarcastic bit of graffito: I Heat Sweatshop Labor in front of Urban Outfitters. They're usually written in front of clothing stores, thus indicting the retailer for using the bony fingers of brown and yellow children to construct shoddy pieces in its new 80s crackhouse-themed Fall collection. Now, I don't know who these renegades are who put nozzle to stencil to articulte their indignation...but ignorance never stopped me or any other American-affiliated asshole from assuming. My guess is they're white, over-priviliged college dropouts who think they're deep and intelligent because they (still) wear dreads and write faggy poetry, while shrieking about the injustices of the world. And I hate those people. Not because they're white, though that certainly doesn't help. It's mostly because they don't know what it is to actually work for something. If you take away these sweatshops from the toothless mouths of the little Filipino children who clothe the world, where does that leave them? After all, that three cents a day ain't gonna earn itself. For thousands, if not millions of families in developing nations, menial, degrading labor is their only source of income and these fricking, bleeding uterus liberals are trying to impede that? You know what their problem is; they're not considering the people in those sweatshops. No, Mr. and Mr. Global-Handshake are too busy worrying about the inhuman conditions, painfully low wages and the long-established trend of the US trampling its stiletto all over the Third World's cherubic face. Well, to them, I say, fuck you! I'm thinking of the babies. Much like Wu-Tang, Cheki With A Shh! is for the chil'ren. I really do heart sweatshop labor and anyone who doesn't can meet me and my AK in the back of H&M. No one's going to get between me and my retail Stella McCartney.