Hey Kids.
Being a 20 year old college dropout, times often get hard and the purse strings have to be pulled a little tight. So tight that you couldn't squeeze a dime out of your purse's pursed, virginal lips. Now is such a time.
So what is a pothead to do? Sure, one could simply not smoke and wait til one's situation improves...but that would make one a fucking quitter. Instead, here are a few suggestions and ideas to quench your THC thirst:
1. Resin D'etre
Get your bong, water pipe, bowl or whatever paraphanelia have you and let's begin. Resin is gold. Black gold. It's that nasty gunk left over in your piece after you've smoked. The fastidious might be tempted to clean it, but if you're poor like me, that's just dumb. If you scrape it out and let it dry, if it needs to, you can smoke that turdesque matter. Then it's like a "Golden Girls" clip show, where you re-experience all the different varieties of bud you've smoked and you get to see just how many priceless expressions of exhaustion Dorothy has for one of Rose's St. Olaff stories.
2. Roach Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn
I know this might be hard at first, but let's all put forward a good effort, hm? Now, when you're swimming in the universe's infinite beauty, just puffing away on that joint and/or blunt, you must resist the temptation to stick it in between your teeth and suck it drier than [insert dirty, preferbly racist, double entendre here]. Instead, tuck that roach away for a rainy day. When the time comes to use it, you can stick in a bowl or just finish off where you started days, weeks, possibly months before.
3. Us and Stem
There's a reason why marijuana has stems. Mostly it's because it's a plant and it needs to grow on something, but the other, more practical reason, is that you can smoke those tiny little green sticks. You just break them up and stuff them into a bowl, light up and then you'll notice a strange scent. It's weed, for sure, but it also has a bit of a lacquer bouquet to it. Like someone just finished shining yourshoes and now you're burning them three inches from your face. It's mildly unpleasant and will most likely leave a hole in your throat, but it gets the job done, Lambs. Well, not really. Smoking stems barely gets you high, but at least it staves off the chills of sobriety.
4. Frontin', Sucker MCs
If you have a special relationship with your dealer, you might be able to front a small amount of pot. I'd gladly pay you Tuesday, for a dime bag today, i.e. the Wimpy Rule. Be careful, though, as most dealers are shiesty little fuckers and before you know it, you'll be sucking him off in the alley way by your job in the middle of the day as a toothless bum jacks off to it, all for your daily fix.
Not that that's a bad thing. Hell, if I could give head for weed, I'd just walk around with knee pads and mouthwash. Then I could use my money to get some new kicks. Sweet.
That's all I can think of/feel like writing right now. If any of my (three) readers has any ideas, post those shits.
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