This May Be The (Lack Of) Weed Talking...

Usually, I'd be high right now. I'm not, since I'm broke yet again. And don't think it's sitting well with me at all. Alas, like a true soldier, I shall try and continue with this charade I call a "blog".

So I've noticed that at recent events for everyone's favorite gay cowboy flick--that I have yet to see (once again: broke)--one of the stars happens not to be there. At the LA premiere, Heath was a no-show. And at the recent NY premiere, Jake took a dive out. But why?

This may be the lack of weed talking, but I smell something hot and sweaty on the western front. Break out those Levis and that spitoon, cuz I'm a goin' a speculatin'!

First off, Michelle Williams. She's a cutie, I really enjoy her. She was obviously the only one on Dawson's Creek with any acting talent, and she may get an Oscar, or at least a nod, for her performance in "Bareback Mount Him*". But in terms of physical appeal, well, she's no Naomi Watts. Thus, I'm pondering the reasons behind the relationship between those two, as Hollywood is one shallow place. And they live in Brooklyn, the uppity, trendy part--also shallow. So why is Heath Ledger dating the non-Destiny's Child Michelle Williams? A cover up? Now that there's a baby involved, that issue is obviously out of the question, no?

Second, Jake Gyllenhaal. Every fag and their dad wants/believes him to be gay. And can you blame them? Boy is gorgeous. As is Heath, so this gay cowboy lovin's obviously going to be huge among the man-bag set. El Gyllenhaal has a certain ambiguity about him. He's boyish, yet manly, yet sensitive. And of course that translates to at least bi by some people's standards. And he's had an on again-off again relationship with one Mr. Kirsten Dunst. A relationship that seemed to be particularly off during the filming of "Brokeback." Now, he's single, but Heath isn't. Was there something we missed off-screen?

Now, I'm not trying to insinuate that Jake and Heath fell in love during the filming of the movie and Heath dumped Jake to turkey baste Michelle Williams at the last minute out of fear of doing such an overtly queer movie and the resulting animosity between the two heartthrobs leads them to avoid each other as often as possible. I'm just saying, hey, it could have happened. And I like to think it did when I jack off at night. I mean, a guy's gotta get to sleep somehow, right?

Stories of co-stars hooking up during the filming of movies creep out from under the casting couch all the time. We only tend to hear the ones involving a male and a female. However, is it too presumptuous to think that filming a tender love story in the throws of the mountains and the mountainous passion with another hot as balls actor could have led to some trailer boinking action? I think not. I just wish it weren't such a big deal. It's really painful watching Tom Cruise nowadays.


*Yeah, i totally stole that from some commenter on Defamer.