Hey, What's That?

I like to describe friendship with me as thinly-veiled hatred. And I think most of my friends would agree with that statement. However, it's not as if I resent my friends. Far from it. Rather, I resent everyone, often for no particular reason other than that they breathe my oxygen and take up my space. Now, you may be asking yourself, what claim do I, Cheki With A Shh!, have to the O2 in the air and the matter surrounding us? And to that I respond, what right do you have to ask that? The same right I have to claim that I rule everything. It's at least as legitimate as your reasons for questioning me. Though, if you continue along this line of incredulity, I am going to have to deal with you. And trust me, you don't wish to be dealt with by the man who single-handedly brought down both "The Bob Newhart Show" and "Newhart". You're out of your league kids. So next time you contmeplate life and your place in it, just remember this: I am infinitely better than you can ever hope of being.