Just for Me

I don’t know what I want, I just know this ain’t it
I’ve never been able to be complacent
Only lonely, confused and bewildered
Perpetually in search and need of a spirit kindered
When my world seems to reject me
Cuz friends can’t love me like I need be
I want to lay my head down deadly

Now, it’s not all just self-pity
Only half, the other’s an attempt to be witty
To hide all the pain I feel
I try to numb it anyway that ain’t real
To deny my own inability to try
It’s better to be fucked up and high
Cuz I’m sugar free, oh so lonely

If no one wants me, I’d rather be alone
So I tell myself--and I disconnect the phone
But I ain’t foolin' nobody, and nobody even cares
We’re all alone in the end, with our hopes and fears
Hoping for love, afraid it’s useless
My age is apparent, I’m utterly clueless
I want something and someone just for me