Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I Did It!

Well, Kids, I made it. I traversed the icy landscape of Post-Apocalyptic Manhattan, the reefer swimming through my veins and my iPod shuffle ringing in my ears. I could not be stopped. For a near 3 mile walk, it was rather brisk. I felt not only in good cheer as I sashayed with the occasional shauntay to the Upper Eastside, but a certain sense of power as I whizzed by the elderly and infirm as they crawled along these freezing streets. Stepping over the body of a partially frozen bag granny, my pulse jumped with excitement and I'm pretty sure I got a chubby downstairs. MTA strikes are FUN!!!

And this will never ever get old!

Sure, the walk to Brooklyn from Palladium, where I'm currently staying (for all you sexy/marginally attractive stalkers out there) is a 6.5 mile trek that Hopstop predicts will take around 3 hours, this hunting and gathering, Darwinian existence can never grow tired. Even if it will be 23 degrees tonight. Even if I have to walk 11 miles to work in the morning...Hmm, this isn't sounding...eh, well. Guess I'll just have to carjack a nigga and outrun the cops. Thank god Grand Theft Auto has prepared me for just this moment.

So until next time, remember, travel only at night and trust no one who offers you a ride. Especially no one with a thin mustache and a preternaturally high voice.

Death to Metropolis, long live the Jew Flesh!

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