I'll tell you one thing, Liza is looking great these days. Sixty and sexy, With a Z gave a free concert in Asser Levy Park and the gays and the geriatric Jews turned out in spades to show their fanatical support. I, myself, endured nearly two hours of subway, an hour of standing around listening to the over 70 set gripe about being alive and the tired schtick of our host for the evening, Mr. Morty Moskowicz. But boy was it worth it!
Liza made her sequined entrance at around 8:45 doing a particularly showtune-y version of "I Can See Clearly Now" ending with a triumphant "I CAN SHEE!" After that number, Ms. Minnelli announced that she had succesfully lost 26 pounds since we had seen her last year (though I didn't have that distinct pleasure) and it certainly showed. The gams were on display for the audience to see as she wore a high cut little cream bedazzled minidress, matching stockings and shoes so shiny they must have been made out of the hair of the muses. I could see them sparkling even from my disadvantaged vantage point, some 300 feet from the stage.
The show and Liza kept steaming along, with "The Man I Love," "Sara Lee," an ode to her favorite snack food, "Ring Them Bells," and concluding with "Let's Hear It for the Band" or something along those lines. My memory is a bit fuzzy as I was in a state of complete euphoria at the time. And by 'euphoria', I mean stoned. During the "Band" number, Liza disappeared for what could only be a wardrobe change and perhaps a sandwich. No booze or drugs for her, though--that's right, Liza's on the wagon, kids. And I say, bravo.
Re-emerging in a sequined red number, revealing a rather sassy shoulder, Liza began the second part of the show. This included a Kander and Ebb original, "Sailor Boys" Liza dragging up a nearly 80-year old Gina Lollobrigida, proclaiming, "We made it man!" and a soulful rendition of "You Can Keep Your Hat On" by her pianist, some musical theater fag whose name escapes me at the moment. During his perfomrance, Liza took a seat and let him do his thing, then she requested a matching red hat and had him play again. This time, though, she did a little dance number that could only be described as fucking adorable. Then it was on to the finale, "Cabaret." Noticeably, she changed one of the lines--"When I goooooooooo, I'm NOT goin' like Elsie!" Meaning, she's not going out of an overdose of "pills and liquor." And thank god for that. I'm not ready to lose Liza yet. I'd be devestated. I wouldn't be able to jazz hand for months. Anywho, she finished "Cabaret" and left the stage after a well-desered standing O, but we all knew that wasn't the end. A few minutes later she came back on asking if we wanted another song? Duh. Duh duh duh-duh-duh-duh. Duh duh duh-duh-duh-duh. "Start spreading the news!" And bitch TORE. IT. UP. After another standing O, some die hard fans still waited. This couldn't be it. And of course it wasn't. Liza came back on--"But I don't have any more songs," she said in that way that you knew wasn't going to stop her from trying anyway. It was true, her band didn't have any more arrangements, but the old girl still belted out one final number a capella, leaving the stage for good. We still waited just in case, but then Morty Moscowicz came back instead, so it was clearly time to go.
Oh, Liza. With a Z. Not Lisa. With an S. Cuz Lisa with an S goes Sss, not Zzz. You've still got it. But once you have it, I doubt you ever really, truly lose it. Let's me, you and Bea do a revival of Mame. You can have the title part, Bea can reprise her role as Vera, which I guess leaves me as your loving nephew, Patrick. I smell Tony!
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