I never knew ABBA could be so suggestive. Or aggressive. I really thought that the Nordic folk never had sex, but produced offspring through a rather complex, rhythmic dance to generic pop music passed down over the generations. But ABBA proved me wrong, as they often do. The ladies and gentle-Swedes of the world's favorite reclusive supergroup command you to drop trou and start stepping along with the beat. Thanks Madge (and Jimmy) for introducing us.
7. Thelma Houston - "Don't Leave Me This Way" (Any Way You Like It, 1976)
Some people want you to beg for them. They feel that they're just so impossibly stupendous that one must genuflect in their presence. But not Thelma Houston. Sure, she plays that game for a minute then the beat kicks in and shit is on. Disco kick! Ugh! Yell in that fucker's face and let him know that this puss is Grade A. Bravo, Ms. Houston.
8. Machine - "There But for the Grace if God Go I" (Machine, 1979)
Wow, a disco song about actual social issues. But when you set that scene against one of the most insane tracks, like, ever, suddenly social commentary can do the hustle just like everyone else. And blow in the bathroom like everyone else, too.
9. Chic - "I Want Your Love" (C'est Chic, 1978)
Sheer beauty. Just listen to those bells. Though it doesn't have the life-saving bassline of "Le Freak," it don't need it. That feathery vocal, the pounding bells and those sweet strings all volleying off one another, it makes you want to fall in love with the next stranger that looks at ya. Well, hello there. Sure, you're balding, fat and probably have a baby meekrat's penis, but "I Want Your Love." Mmmm, funk.
10. The Whispers - "And the Beat Goes On" (The Whispers, 1980)
Way before Will Smith sampled it for his PG-rated ode to "Miami," the Whispers funked all over the place with this. Turn it on, turn it up and try not to bop your head along to their groove. I dare you, bitch.
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