Behind closed doors

I feel like my entire life has been conspired upon

Behind closed doors

My fate, my future, my present, my past

Whispered over, scrutinized in secret

As if I, the steward of my own existence,

Would deign to be informed of its direction

Behind closed doors, behind the veil, behind my back

-What will we do with him?

-Where will he go?

-Why is he here?

-When will he go?

Leaning-on quickly becomes burden-to

Quickly becomes beholden-to

Quickly becomes resentment

I’ll have to stand on my own or fall to the side

Relying on no other prop but my pride

I swear I’m not heartbroken

I have no heart to break

No words left to be spoken

Nothing left for you to take

I’ve kept my love frozen

And bury it should it wake

Now each day keeps on going

But I can’t shake this ache

I swear I’m not drinking

Only drowning in sorrow

My head is quickly sinking

My life becoming hollow

The other day I got to thinking

What’s the point of tomorrow?

What would I be missing

That I couldn’t possibly borrow?

I swear I’m mistaken

Must have gotten my lines crossed

Believed there was a connection

Somehow the message was lost

Never thought I’d be heartbroken

Never knew we couldn’t be

Never knew you had already chosen

Why couldn’t it have been me?

Homecoming

I always said I’d never go home

Once I got out, I’d continue to roam

Wander everywhere, I didn’t care

Not a penny to my name, pockets bare

All that mattered was I wasn’t there

Everything else was laissez-faire

But the return home was inevitable

This son’s set to be prodigal

With misery in my heart, the past on my mind

I board the train home, made it just in time

Though these tracks don’t have beats inside

I ride to the rhythm of what I left behind