The Tracks of My Cheeba Tears

So I’ve been devoting a lot of my blogspace lately to the gradual death of my emotions and ability to feel, thus neglecting my other two passions: music and marihuana. So, to remedy that, I decided to compile a list of some of my favorite songs to burn to at the moment. Some are perennial favorites on my daily journey through the weed wonderland that is the apartment of my mind while others I’ve only recently found the joy in increasing my THC levels to dangerous highs to their both funky and fresh beats. Just sit back, inhale deeply and let the love seep into your brains. And remember, kids, just say 'no.'



1. ABBA- “Lay All Your Love on Me” Anthemic as always, but with a heaping of melancholy and regret sauteed over a disco beat. Mmmmm.

2. Amy Winehouse- “Back to Black,” Back to Black [2006]
Bonus Track: Amy Winehouse- “Tears Dry on their Own,” Back to Black [2006]
Little did I know what was missing from my life was a drunk white British gal singing Phil Spector-inspired girl group pop with cool, jazzy vocals. Somehow, life feels complete.

3. Aretha Franklin- “Oh Me Oh My (I’m a Fool for You Baby),” Young, Gifted & Black [1972]
Bonus Track: Aretha Franklin- “Daydreaming,” Young, Gifted & Black [1972]
No one can work your soul into fits of ecstasy as frequently or as passionately as Re Re. Girl's looking a bit Jabba D. Hut these days, but I ain't sayin' shit...to her face anyway.

4. Beyoncé- “Irreplaceable,” B’Day [2006]
Bonus Track: Beyoncé- “Suga Mama,” B’Day [2006]
A change of pace from the bitch-slapper, "Ring the Alarm," Beyoncé turned it down a bit and I'm still throwing shit to the left, to the left. Get your damn bags out of my goddamn room, nigga!

5. Billie Holiday- “On the Sunny Side of the Street” Oh, Lady Day. You get me through the rough times with your wounded voice and the simple knowledge that your life was ten times more fucked up than mine could ever hope to be.

6. Black Star- “The Definition,” Black Star [1998]Mos Def. Awesome. Talib Kwali. Not as awesome as Mos Def. But together, they are/were the North's answer to Outkast.

7. The Cure- “Just Like Heaven” Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me [1987] Contrary to popular belief, not everyone who likes the Cure wears too small plaid shirts and skinny jeans. It does help to rock some eye liner and an air of despair, though.

8. David Bowie- “Moonage Daydream,” The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars [1972] I have no idea what Bowie is saying in this song--clearly I need to be on cocaine and face down in Lou Reed's lap to TRULY understand--but he sure says it with soulful conviction.

9. Diana Ross & the Supremes- “My World is Empty Without You,” I Hear a Symphony [1966] Echoey and hauting, Diana & Co. sound like they may have had the wall of sound treatment, but still come off with the polish and sophistication that only Motown could provide.

10. Grace Jones- “Love is the Drug,” Warm Leatherette [1980]
Bonus Track: Grace Jones "Pull Up to the Bumper," Nightclubbing [1982]
Oh, Grace. You're as cold on record as you were last night in bed, but twice as entertaining. Ho! Fantastic cover, though.

11. Guns N’ Roses- “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” Appetite for Destruction [1987]I do the sickest air guitar to this song: tongue out and kickin', legs as far apart as I can spread 'em, head bangin' against the rock & roll wind. Fuckin'A, bro. Fuckin' A.

12. Juicy- “Sugar Free,” It Takes Two [1986] Basically a rip off of Mtume's "Juicy," (ahem, the group's name) but the groove is still undeniable. By the way, I'm both sugar free and now, have no trans fat!

13. Kelis- ”Protect My Heart,” Tasty [2003]
Bonus Track: Kelis- “Emergency,” Kelis Was Here [2006]
Hey remember when Kelis was doing the trashy 80s dance pop/hip-hop thing a year before and a hundred times better than Gwen Stefani? Well, this one track puts La Stefani to shame, even moreso than that tacky Von Trapp shit she's peddling nowadays.

14. Led Zeppelin- “D’yer Maker,” Houses of the Holy [1973]
Bonus Track: Led Zeppelin- “Fool in the Rain,” In Through the Out Door [1979]
This song is so fucking high. Even if you're not smoking, it'll make you irie. All up in the face.

15. Liza Minnelli- “Bye Bye Blackbird,” Liza with a Z [1972]So sue me. I'm gay. I love Liza. Do I judge you for liking John Mayer? Oh yes, that's right...John Mayer's pretty gay too.

16. Madonna- “Get Together,” Confessions on a Dance Floor [2005]Along with "Hung Up," Madonna's greatest contribution to dance music since "Ray of Light." but really, though, hasn't she given us enough? Time to start giving back, y'all. Help momma Madge to her disco walker.

17. Outkast- “She Lives in My Lap,” Speakerboxxx/The Love Below [2003]I really love Andre 3000's Prince impersonation. Until recently, he was doing a better Prince than the man himself. No better example than this pyscho-sexual romp through eighties funk updated for the funkin' oughties.

18. Prince- “Erotic City,” Let's Go Crazy Single(B-Side) [1984]We can funk until the dawn, making love til cherry's gone. Or something like that. You don't need to know the words to know this song is funking dirty. And also funking funky....Funk.

19. Rufus & Chaka Khan- “Stay,” Street Player [1978]
Bonus Track: Rufus & Chaka Khan- “You Got the Love,” Rags to Rufus [1974]
Okay, I might have lied. Chaka Khan is so transcendent sometimes that she gives Aretha a run for her money...and her fried chicken--I'm sorry I couldn't help myself--just witness the rapture that is "Stay" or the measured funk of "You Got the Love."

20. Sheila E.- “The Glamorous Life,” The Glamorous Life [1984]The best Prince song supposedly not written by Prince, Sheila E. drummed her way forever into my heart with a tale of long mink fur coats in the summertime, i.e. my life.

21. Stevie Wonder- “Ordinary Pain,” Songs in the Key of Life [1976]
Bonus Track: Stevie Wonder- “Knocks Me Off My Feet,” Songs in the Key of Life [1976]
Stevie warms us up and then lets protégé Syreeta turn it up on "Ordinary Pain," giving us two sides to that old break up story. And the chorus of "Knocks Me Off My Feet" makes me wet in the panties. What? You asked...oh, you didn't? Well, I'll just assume you did and we'll leave it at that.

22. TLC- “Creep,” CrazySexyCool [1995] Gosh, remember when R&B was fun? When it wasn't sappy love songs or overproduced faceless by-products? Sometimes, I like to take CrazySexyCool in my arms and weep for hours on end. "Don't go chasin'..."...oh, it's too much.