Quick Question...

Why is that if you throw up once...ok, twice--what's that? Four times. Well, I think that's a bit exaggerated. Fine--why is it that if you throw up on four separate occassions, you're immediately branded the guy who throws up at parties? I think that's a bit unfair. And I do NOT appreciate it. Guess what douches, I have feelings too. And sometimes I need to drink excessively, to the point where I am no longer breathing air but rather 160 proof vodka, sweating rum and shall I suffer a cut, bleeding gin just to feel alive again. Don't judge me, fuckers! It's not like I mention all the times you've had a back alley abortion? No. Well, there was that one time I told your mom, but she kept looking at me with that lazy eye of hers. Or maybe she was looking at you. Or, or, or I've never told anyone about the time you sawed that head off the Jebediah Springfield statue in the town square and everybody got super pissed, did I? No. I didn't. So I would appreciate it if you quit it with all the backhanded comments because I'm a grown ass man and I will puke on everything in the world if I want to. I hope someone cleans it up, though, because I gotta go somewhere in the morning.