Am I Hot?

Ohmigod, did I miss something? Maybe it's because I'm always high or whatever, but I think I might be hot. Or maybe in the beginning stages of hot.

I've always been that heavy kid with glasses and occaionally nappy hair, and to an extent I still am. However, I just recently shaved my head and now I've been noticing a lot more attention being paid to little old me. I'm getting a bit flustered, perchaps it's the vapors, the VAPORS!! The vapors? But I'm not sure how to tell what's going on? Are hot and mildly attractive guys looking at me because there's something on my face that I didn't catch before leaving the safety of the indoors? I mean, I could understand a couple of days of that happening, but there's a consistency I've been experiencing. For instance, take ten minutes ago. If you can remember that far back, what with the war going on and all.(Perhaps a little too Woody Allen?)

I was walking down the street back to work, and I was blazed like chestnuts on that proverbial open hearth fire, when I saw this, for lack of a more emphatic adjective, GORGEOUS guy coming from the opposite direction. Normally, I'd just try to catch a few passing glimpses without arising suspect from him. But at the time, and in my condition, I was staring at everything, one of the benefits of being stoned in the city.

You know, after living in New York for a while, you get kind of tired of it. Well, I did. I became desensitized to the diversity and vibrancy of this city because I fell into a routine of going to school, going to work, always going somewhere or staying and vegging out. But when I go anywhere else, like Poughkeepsie, I realize just how shitty everywhere else is compared to NYC, Manhattan especially. New Yorkers don't live in the real world. We live in left-wing, blow job giving, coke-snorting paradise that very few people have experienced. It's just not that exciting when you live it everyday. Thats why I get high. I appreciate things more, put things into perspective and gain focus often lost in the daily grind of life. And I get a nice little buzz to take me through the day.

But I was walking on the street when I saw this GORGEOUS guy walking towards me. I glanced at him, and yay saw it was good, then I did one of those lurid scans, from sole to scalp. And I got a little wet downstairs. As I walked by him, he caught me staring at him and--normally this would devolve into some unfinished homoerotic fantasy I was so fond of writing in high school...and now--cocked his head to the side and gave me a weird smile. Then it looked as if he said something, but my headphones were blasting ABBA so I missed it. I'm not sure what it was all about, but my heart kind of skipped a beat a bit. I thought that maybe he was straight and just really cocky, as if daring me to gaze or some shit, but then I remember how he was dressed. Very 'mo, but in this day and age, who knows anymore?

Not the sultriest of stories, I know, but I'm 20, single and a virgin. I'll take whatever I can get. However, it's moments like these that boost my confidence to one day, maybe even kiss a boy. WHOA! Head rush. Baby steps, Cheki, Baby steps.